An Open Letter to the Boy I Fell For Unexpectedly

Dear you,

We aren’t in a relationship. You don’t need to respond to my texts or bring me flowers once a month. You don’t need to spend every free moment with me or kiss me goodbye. But, we also aren’t “just friends.” We lay somewhere in between the two. We’re neither black or white, off or on or asleep or awake. We lay in between it all.

It’s crazy how it happened. We always find out way back to each other, even after two years of knowing each other. I got so used to you leaving after a short amount of time, but this time you didn’t. This time was different. You stayed and stayed long enough for me to fall for you.

I fell for you even though I kept telling myself I wouldn’t. I fell for you even though you told me not to and that it was going to be a bad idea. I fell for the way you loved to sing at the top of your lungs while driving down the highway. I fell for the way you’d tease me because I would just throw it back at you. Somewhere in between it all, I found myself falling for you every more every day.

You fell, too. You told me that you’ve been crazy for me ever since we started talking again. You fell for my “cute” self and “great personality.” Yet, you never told me. Every time I would bring up dating or feelings, you would either say no or deny it. Again, you’ve told me countless amounts of times that you didn’t want a relationship. Why?

What sucks though is that we will never be a thing. I really wanted us to work out. I wanted you coming back into my life to actually mean something more than it usually does. But now, we won’t get a chance to see where that would have taken us. You’re moving soon and I’m still stuck. God, it was nice while it lasted.

I’ll miss you,

Brianna

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