An Open Letter To The Person Who Keeps Coming Back

“You are really cool in a lame way!”

Dear you,

You know who you are. We met about two years ago through work. It was a late night at work and you approached me and I didn’t know what to expect. We hit it off and you ended up asking for my number. Late that night, you ended up texting me and we hung out a few days later. The next day, I asked you to bring me Starbucks and you did. God, I didn’t know what I getting into. Only wish I had.

The day after that, we hung out. It was so awkward. I didn’t know what to talk about or what to say to you. I thought it was our age difference that kept us from being friends, or maybe it was how we just met two days before we hung out. But, what I do remember is that you tried to make me jump into your pool (in the middle of November) and we had a super awkward moment at your kitchen table. Realizing we had nothing in common, we put our friendship to rest and you let me keep your Captain America t-shirt.

Our friendship started to dwindle and you became a part of my past.

A few months later, we met again. I was vulnerable and super devastated about my break up with my ex-boyfriend. You were there and you gave me the attention I needed. That’s why I gave in. I gave into your temptation and it ruined me. So after that, we separated, for what I thought was the last time.

About eight months later, you stumbled back into my life. This time, this reconnection was toxic. Again, you gave me the attention I liked and again, I gave in. I immediately stopped any and all contact after that and for what I really thought was going to be the last time. 

But, here we are, almost a year later. We are back in each other’s lives. We always tend to make this circle around and around. Sometimes, it feels like a vicious cycle. Like you’ll always pop back into my life some way or another. But part of me feels like that it’s happening for a reason. Not in a sense of “We’re supposed to be with each other,” but in a way where you only come in to teach me a life lesson. Or maybe in a way where you always come back into my life around the same time.

Whatever it is, it’s slowly killing me, but part of doesn’t want to end. It’s killing me because of situations I end up getting myself into. But I don’t want it to end. We have this crazy story and some pretty funny memories. You were my first for a lot of things and because of that, you’ll always hold a spot in the back of my mind. I don’t think I’ll ever forget about you.

So thank you, for everything you’ve done. The good and the bad.




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